Farscape Encyclopedia Project
Farscape episode
“Crichton Kicks”
Episode no. Season 4
Episode 01
Guest star(s) Raelee Hill (Sikozu); Peter Whittle (Ilkog); Bob Nisevic (Nukana); Dinah Shearing (Voice of Elack's Pilot)
Writer(s) David Kemper
Director Andrew Prowse
Production no. 10401
Original airdate June 7, 2002 (US); September 23, 2002 (UK)
Episode chronology
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"Dog with Two Bones"; "Prison Brake" "What Was Lost - Sacrifice"

Crichton's lonely but peaceful life aboard a dying Leviathan is violently interrupted by the arrival of a young woman and a group of ruthless scavengers after her.


It has been months since Moya was sucked down a wormhole and John Crichton, in his module with a huge beard in full swing, converses with the Pilot who rescued him a long time ago, saying that he's almost out of fuel so he needs a little help. He apologises, admitting that he now accepts his friends aren't coming back from the wormhole, and says he can't leave them (the Leviathan and Pilot) and asks to be let back in. He shouts, awaking a female Pilot who says she must've dozed off. John goes back aboard the ageing Leviathan, and Pilot tells him that, since what they have won't work in his module unless purified and reduced, there's nothing aboard that can facilitate his escape before they die. She says that she and Elack (the Leviathan) promised each other they'd die in this sacred burial ground when they were joined over 350 cycles ago. John says that he would've died a long time ago without them, and that he's almost cracked "wormholes for dummies". Crichton's only companion aboard Elack, besides Pilot, is the final remaining DRD which he has named 1812 (so named as Crichton has taught it to play the "1812 Overture").

Crichton, who has gone a little crazy as a result of his prolonged isolation, goes to the maintenance bay where he has been working on his wormhole equations (which now cover many walls and surfaces) when Pilot tells him there's a small craft approaching, and it's out of control. The ship flies into the bay and crashes into a load of crates, destroying many of the equations, before coming to a halt among flames. Out steps an enchanting redhead, who is met by Winona, John's pulse pistol. She is Sikozu Shanti Sugaysi Shanu, and suggests he aims his gun behind him as the creatures following her execute on sight, and then she asks what he is now going to do for her.

Sikozu tells John that there shouldn't be anyone aboard a dying ship, but he cuts her off with, "Who? What? When? Where? Why? And How?" She informs him that her brain can't tolerate translator microbes and she must learn his language by hearing it. She points to various things around the bay and Crichton tells her what they're called, then at her prompt recites the alphabet in his typical lyrical fashion. Pilot tells John that another vessel approaches, one much larger than before. Sikozu asks if Elack can Starburst, prompting John to point out that she speaks Pilot. Sikozu tells him to make sentences, nouns, verbs, so he tells her that once upon a time he was happy here, a little on the lonely side, but that was OK as Winona only had to start cooking fires. His module's out of fuel and he's not going anywhere and he's "working like a MoFo", with everything finally coming together on the crates until she smashes through, pissing him off just a little bit; the only thing he had going for him she just destroyed. Sikozu says that the Grudeks will shock the hull, incapacitating most functions. Not Pilot, though - they need her alive to harvest the toubray tissue. Suddenly, they hear people boarding, so Sikozu quickly tells John they need to find an enclosed space, as the Grudeks are about to fumigate.

The two are in John's module, where he asks who the Grudeks are, to which she replies "toubray hunters", toubray being Leviathan neural cluster tissue consumed by many cultures to enhance higher brain functions. She was with them until she fled for her life. The organization she works for was hired to find Leviathans, so she was given half a cycle to become an expert on their functions and habits. She worked hard to find the sacred place because toubray is richer with age and so the Grudeks are happy. Her reasoning is that harvesting this Leviathan is better than killing a young one along with everyone aboard.

In John's mind, on a beautiful beach, he and Harvey are running along the shore. Harvey asks him how many men have a challenge, a goal, a destiny clear as his, and tells him to stay focused on the riddle of the wormhole, affect the things he can. A familiar voice, a lady sunbathing in a scant bikini, tells John that Harvey is right. It's Aeryn Sun, and John asks her to tell him again why she left. She rolls over revealing that she is pregnant, and says she's not right for him, she was just the best of limited choices. He says that's his kid, Crichton's kid, but she says this is her child. "Whatever."

The Russian sounding Grudeks arrive on board to begin the hunt. John is trying to bring Pilot back to consciousness, but she has virtually no systems at her disposal, so she recommends they save themselves; maybe in passing she and Elack can save some others. John wants to fight for them, and asks for any DRDs that remain with weapons. He asks Sikozu if they can negotiate. She says it's not their way. He says that it's time for a show of force, and shouts some Klingon at them. One of the Grudeks shouts back that they have no quarrel with him, so remain clear and he may live. But John says not if they destroy his ship, so the Grudek tells them to flee, and John replies to flip that around – they have sixty microts... but the Grudeks open fire. John fires back, adding that a show of force is the only thing Klingons understand. Sikozu tells him to make them think he's dead, but he decides to fire again instead, prompting them to release the Brindz hound; a blood hunter.

Sikozu expects to find a hatchway in a certain place, but it's not where she expects, prompting John to mention that every Leviathan grows to accommodate its passengers, and he realises that Sikozu's never actually been on one before. As they run to where the hatchway is, the hound jumps past them, then circles back as John opens fire. Sikozu runs up a wall and calls for him to hurry up and shift his gravity centre. He shoots and runs into a small space, just as the hound bites his leg.

Sikozu fixes up John, commenting how his vein needs to be smaller to accommodate shifting his gravity centre. He asks why she ran from the Grudeks, and she replies that she was too good; by finding the sacred burial space with mature toubray she sabotaged herself, breaching her contract so the Grudeks don't even have to pay her organization. The Grudeks continue to hunt, and Sikozu knows they haven't found what they're looking for yet as the lights in the area are still active. John is preparing to ambush the Grudeks when he gets a comm from Chiana and Rygel who are wondering why he's here, and they're in the maintenance bay.

The Grudeks find John and Sikozu, and their leader Ilkog says it's certain Sikozu won't tell anyone about this place, when she's dead. John gets up and aims at Ilkog, saying that he'll take their earlier run away offer. The Grudeks fire but are held off by 1812. As John and Sikozu run along, the hound catches up and bites off Sikozu's hand. Fade to John shaving, as Chiana berates Sikozu, and Rygel asks if John has seen Moya. Their pod isn't going anywhere – they were lucky to get this far. John asks what's wrong with Chiana, so she asks Rygel to tell him what's the matter. Rygel asks why he's shaving now, and Chiana tells John he is what's he matter with her. It's him, always him. She shows a wanted beacon with Commandant Grayza offering huge rewards for the capture of any of Moya's crew dead or alive, with five million currency pledges resting on the Nebari Chiana's shoulders. Worse still, the beacons are everywhere – every port, bar and ship that can fly. All because of him. She goes over and kisses him as Rygel adds that he is worth seven million. Chiana asks why he's shaving now and he answers that he's finally figured out wormholes. Rygel is surprised, as Crichton reminds them who better to save a Leviathan than them. Sikozu reminds them to fetch her hand, as she can re-bond with her flesh. John tells Rygel to get it and goes off with Chiana. She tells John not to confuse her and Sikozu, prompting him to pin her up against the wall to talk about "it", whatever "it" is. She says her visions have evolved. There's a cheat-proof game in the casinos, and she won seven times in a row, and they arrested her, had a little fun, tortured her ... nothing new. She doesn't see the future, rather the present – it slows down, but it leaves her with blinding headaches, as if it uses up her eyes so she can't see. Each time it happens the effect lasts longer. John says that they'll find a way to fix it when they get out of there, but to screw the dog they'll need rope, a rabbit and a membrane. Chiana decides to get the rope and leave the rest for him. Meanwhile, Rygel gets as close as he can to the Grudeks, telling John they're still down there.

John is back on the beach with Aeryn, feeling the baby kick. He says that it's a boy but Aeryn says girls kick harder. John retorts that maybe it's not his, and she says he just won't let that rest, and after suggesting other possible fathers they feel the kicks some more.

Rygel finds John in a corridor and mentions that he sees he is still obsessed, and John asks if Aeryn said anything to him before he left. "Goodbye, good luck, good riddance," he replies, but John says that's what Rygel said and he is not obsessed. He asks again, and Rygel tells him for once to listen; when your lover leaves you repeatedly, take the hint! John replies that was the plan, but Rygel knows how his plans go.

Chiana finds Sikozu striking a bargain with a Grudek and shoots him. She and Sikozu get into a fight before John and Rygel arrive to pull them apart. Chiana tells them that Sikozu tried to make a deal with the Grudeks, and points to the currency, which Rygel recognises as Scarran. Sikozu wonders; with a Nebari, Hynerian and John, all from the Peacekeeper realm, what kind of currency do they have? She explains that she's Kalish, and they hate the Scarrans but she did grow up in their territory. John asks what her plan was; she bought them a ship which the Grudek would leave behind so they could live. She then notices a shake and tells the others that the Grudeks have found what they're looking for, so they will be dead soon.

The group are all near an open hatch when Rygel asks why they've not been sucked out; Pilot is holding it closed with an electrostatic membrane, but one hit and it's busted. This is how they plan to get rid of the Brindz hound. Sikozu realises that the toubray harvesting has begun, so she and Chiana go to find the slaughterhouse, despite the Nebari's objections, while Rygel will be the rabbit to the hound. On the way Chiana and Sikozu argue, with Sikozu climbing a wall to show Chiana that she can go places Chiana can't. Rygel soon runs into the hound, as John finishes preparations and then lures it out with his butt, but the hound doesn't hit the door. Third attempt is a charm and it's sucked out, with John only staying on board thanks to the rope around his waist. Meanwhile, Ilkog walks up behind Sikozu and says that he's been expecting her.

Sikozu tells him that her contract prevents her from revealing the sacred ground's location and, while John is highly ineffective, he will fight. Ilkog says that his worries are now through, and Sikozu sarcastically hopes she isn't one of them. He says he'll honor her contribution and take her with them if she'll divert John and the others, and she thanks him offering her blessings. John grabs Sikozu as she leaves and takes her to Pilot's den, where Pilot says she had six children, leading to John calling Sikozu a mommy killer. Sikozu says she simply follows her orders and tells him not to moralise with his narrow perspective. Chiana plays back a transmission that Pilot intercepted in which the Grudeks say no other suitable Leviathans were found and Sikozu's employers have been made aware that, through her own error, she lost her life. Sikozu says that it's not fair or right, but John adds that she has limited options – in short, help them or die.

Sikozu reminds John not to shoot, and John tells Chiana that she doesn't have to do it if she doesn't want to, but she confirms her agreement. A pulley system is set up at the top of Pilot's Den, and the plan is that, with Chiana starting at the top and John at the bottom. Chiana will use her time-slowing powers to get a good look at the hoses the Grudeks are using, so Sikozu can inform John how to use the hoses to kill the Grudeks. Then, a heavy bucket will be used to propel John back up and he will shoot the pipes and hopefully get rid of the Grudeks. "Let's fly," Chiana says to get the plan underway. Crichton swings down on a pulley, going past the Grudeks. Chiana is on the other end and ends up in front of the Grudeks who shoot, but as they do she slows things down and as their shots miss she spots the three hoses that John must shoot. She's then pulled up to the top but is blinded. She informs Sikozu of the hoses, and with her description Sikozu tells John to shoot the right pipe first which will release a volatile gas, then left which will release a substance to stop the explosion from destroying Elack, and finally center to trigger the explosion itself... "No deviation". As usual, the plan starts to go wrong as Chiana can't get hold of Sikozu's hand and as she's swinging down she accidentally pulls it off again, causing Sikozu to grab at her and the pair of them fall, pulling John up in the process. With 1812 providing covering fire, John manages to shoot the hoses in order, causing an explosion that kills the Grudeks. However, the combined weight of Chiana and Sikozu breaks the pulley before John reaches the top, sending him into a freefall. Sikozu reminds Chiana not to drop her hand as the two land safely, and Rygel tries to catch John but he falls straight past and lands in right in the pool of bat droppings that inhabits the bottom of every Pilot's Den.

With the threat gone, John lets Sikozu know that she might not want to go with them, as they're not the best travelling companions. She replies, "I'm going to get my life back, I'm not going to end up like you." John then tells Pilot that he hates that she and Elack have left the sacred place, but she responds that the returning Grudek ship would've killed them before they left, so the two of them wanted to repay their debt before they passed. John says that they don't owe them, but Pilot says nevertheless they should soon arrive at the planet John thinks his friends are on, and even though it was her and Elack's dream to die in that sacred place, no dreams are guaranteed. The grace of age is that they learn to accept.

John walks a corridor and returns to the beach, telling a now non-pregnant Aeryn that he's not coming here anymore, because it doesn't change anything and makes him sad. What's left is wormholes, as he must now rebuild the equations after "new girl" smashed them up. Aeryn says that new is good. "Not always" is his reply. A man walks over, handing Aeryn a drink and asking who John is. As she ponders, John says "No one" and walks away. On Elack, 1812 joins John and breaks off something for him to write with, and the overture plays as John begins working on the wormhole equations once more.

Memorable quotes[]

Sikozu: If you are sober or sane enough to understand, I suggest you aim that behind you. The creatures following me execute on sight.
(John takes a sip of alcohol)
Sikozu: Now, what are you going to do for me?
John (explaining his situation to Sikozu): Okay! Once upon a time I was happy here. A little on the lonely side - but that's okay 'cos at least Winona only had to start cooking fires - you know - fire? Whoosh! Fire. Module's outta fuel so it's not goin' anywhere. So, I'm workin' like a mofo. And everything is fiiiiinally comin' together on these crates here - 'til you - SMASHED THROUGH - PISSING ME OFF - just - a little bit. So the only thing that I still had goin' for me - you just destroyed, lady! YEAH!
John (to the Grudeks): NOH! PAV'HOR! HERRUCH'T!
John (to Sikozu): You didn't get that one, did ya? 'Cos it's Klingon!
Sikozu: They know we’re here.
John: Oh, nothing gets by you, does it?
(After the Grudeks fire at them.)
Sikozu (Whispering): Make them think you are dead!
John: Okay, Sputnik. (Walks out to the catwalk and fires back). YOU MISSED!!
John (flaunting his rear end to the hound): You want some o' this? Yeah! Grade-A prime American beef!
John: (about the baby) Maybe it's not mine at all.
Dream Aeryn: You just won't let that rest, will you?
John: Nah, maybe it's got a little pony tail and a teeny tiny goatee.
Dream Aeryn: Maybe.
John: Maybe there's half a metal face on it.
Dream Aeryn: Maybe.
John: Maybe it's a royal pain in the ass, eats all the time and farts a lot.
Dream Aeryn: Then we'll know it's yours.
Rygel: Wormholes, Aeryn, Earth, Aeryn, Scorpius, Aeryn. I'm out of fingers. (holding up Sikozu's severed hand) Want me to keep counting on hers?

Background information[]

  • Anthony Simcoe (D'Argo) does not appear in this episode, although D'Argo does make a brief appearance on the wanted beacon.
  • The beach scenes were filmed at Bondi Beach, Sydney, Australia. Claudia Black's scenes were shot during the filming of "Promises". ("Cool Farscape Facts" - Starburst Edition DVD v4.1)
  • The lines Crichton shouts at the Grudeks is based on the "real" Klingon language created by Marc Okrand. Ben Browder asked Ricky Manning if he could find something that roughly meant "Get the hell off of my ship!" ("Cool Farscape Facts" - Starburst Edition DVD v4.1)
  • This is the first episode of Farscape filmed in widescreen, though 4x3 versions were also created during post-production for broadcast in some locations. ("Cool Farscape Facts" - Starburst Edition DVD v4.1)
  • The opening scene where Crichton sums up his situation was added as a voiceover to explain to the new audience what was going on and help regular viewers catch up on what happened between "Dog with Two Bones" and this episode. ("Cool Farscape Facts" - Starburst Edition DVD v4.1)
  • Unlike with "Jeremiah Crichton", the beard Ben Browder sports in this episode is real. He grew it in the hiatus between Seasons 3 and 4 and shaved it during the filming of the episode. ("Cool Farscape Facts" - Starburst Edition DVD v4.1)
  • Elack's Pilot was created by Jim Henson's Creature Shop using the foam insides from the regular Pilot puppet. A new puppet was created for Pilot's appearance in "Promises". ("Cool Farscape Facts" - Starburst Edition DVD v4.1)
  • The Brindz hound was created by Animal Logic and they spent a lot of time getting the mechanics for the creature's six legs correct. Browder enjoyed filming the scenes where the dog would eventually appear, even though he was acting against nothing in the studio. ("Cool Farscape Facts" - Starburst Edition DVD v4.1)
  • The end credits of this episode play the "1812 Overture", which is the song Crichton whistles periodically throughout the episode. This is one of only three episodes that do not play the traditional Farscape theme song during the rolling of the credits, with Scratch 'N' Sniff being the first playing altered music and Bad Timing featuring no music at all.
  • D'Argo, Pilot, Noranti, and Jool do not appear in this episode. Nor does Scorpius, though Harvey does. Grayza appears only briefly in a recorded message. Aeryn appears only in John's visions; except for recaps, Aeryn does not appear in the next three episodes, appearing next in "Promises". This is the sixth and final episode of the series in which D'Argo does not appear.
  • The "Previously on Farscape" segment for the next episode, "What Was Lost - Sacrifice", includes scenes shot for this episde that were not used in the episode due to time constraints. The entire scene was included on DVD releases as a deleted scene. ("Cool Farscape Facts" - Starburst Edition DVD v4.1)
  • This episode introduces Raelee Hill as Sikozu who, like Jool, possesses red hair. Although she appears in virtually every episode of Season 4, Hill is only ever credited as a guest star and is not added to the opening credits.
  • The DRD dubbed DRD "1812" is also introduced this episode, and becomes a regular for the remainder of the series.
  • The main titles for this season was again new, with a new voiceover, different clips, and the removal of Lani Tupu and Paul Goddard from the credits.
  • Chiana's powers have changed from precognition to speeding up her perception, making what she sees appear to slow down. This leaves her blind temporarily.
  • This is the first episode of the series to not feature any involvement by Lani Tupu, given that it is the first in which neither Crais nor Pilot appear. Consequently, Ben Browder is now the only actor to appear in every episode of Farscape.

Links and references[]


Guest stars[]

Guest cast[]


Voice artists[]

Uncredited co-stars[]


1812 Overture; allegro; American; Brindz hound; central chamber; cherry; Command; Commandant; comms; crindar; crylliun alloy; cycle; DRD; DRD "1812"; dredgenaut; dren; Durka; Elack; etal cavity; Farscape-1; frell; frellnik; goat; grontium; Grudek; hamman; Harvey; hydrogen dixoride; Hynerian; Kalish; Leviathan; maintenance bay; microt; Moya; Nebari; nebula pod; neural cluster; Peacekeeper; Peacekeeper wanted beacon; Pip; pulse pistol; rabbit; raslak; Sacred Leviathan burial space; Scarran; Sparky; starburst; toubray tissue; translator microbe; Uncharted Territories; Winona; wormhole; yotz;


ABC song; Baywatch; beef; Christmas; Cousteau, Jacques; Cujo; Five Ws; Grade-A; Klingon; Mother Teresa; Peter Pan; Picasso, Pablo; Pirates of the Caribbean; Red Rover; Slaughterhouse-Five; Sno-cone; Sputnik; Star Trek; Tinkerbell; turkey; Wormholes for Dummies;

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