Farscape Encyclopedia Project
Farscape episode
“Liars, Guns and Money - A Not So Simple Plan”
Episode no. Season 2
Episode 19
Guest star(s) Wayne Pygram (Scorpius), Paul Goddard (Stark), Claudia Karvan (Natira), Nicholas Hope (Akkor), Matt Newton (Ka Jothee), David Franklin (Braca), Adrian Brown (Gan), Jennifer Fisher (PK Nurse)
Writer(s) Grant McAloon
Director Andrew Prowse
Production no. 10218
Original airdate January 5, 2001 (US); December 4, 2000 (UK)
Episode chronology
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"A Clockwork Nebari" "Liars, Guns and Money - With Friends Like These..."

Stark has a plan to save D'Argo's son, but there's one big catch...


The crew have been following Nexus coordinates for three solar days in search of Stark, who Zhaan says she saw in a vision. The others are fed up and do not believe she saw him, Ka D'Argo wanting to return to the slave auction to find his son. Zhaan asks John Crichton what he thinks, but before he can finish his sentence Stark's image appears and Pilot detects his shuttle, bringing it aboard. The crew go to meet him and he tells D'Argo he's done it – he's found a way to save his son!

Crichton asks how he got here since he was dispersed. Stark says that when dispersed he immediately travelled to get the maps and blueprints he has, then reconstituted his physical shell and stole a ship. He says that Ka Jothee is being sold in a lot of 10,000 slaves and the blueprints he has are for a Shadow Depository – a criminal's bank of sorts. It's within range of a transport pod from their current location. Aeryn Sun says that the last Shadow Depository she saw had more firepower than a Gammak Base, but Stark says he has the door's motion detectors and the maps of its layout. One container would have enough wealth to buy the entire lot of slaves and make them rich. He got them from the designer, who he helped "cross over" to death. Aeryn says this would be a suicide mission, but D'Argo says if it's the only way to save his son they must consider it. Crichton says that it's not possible, as does Chiana, and D'Argo is upset that they won't even consider it. He asks Crichton if whenever he asked him to do something, he ever questioned if it was possible.

D'Argo leaves alone on a transport, so Aeryn and Crichton follow in the Prowler. They go in and see D'Argo looking around. A blue woman is chatting with someone, but Crichton sees Scorpius in his place – he's having visions again. As they walk through, their weapons are detected and the security man, Akkor, is straight on the scene. Crichton quickly acts as if they had been testing the security as they have something to deposit.

As Crichton talks the guard round, they spot D'Argo breaching a door and they subsequently capture him. He says the security is weak when the blue woman comes up to him and says she knows Luxans, but D'Argo is intelligent. She says that he expects to be interrogated, it's a dance, and they shan't disappoint him.

Back on Moya, Crichton has a go at Stark saying that he set D'Argo up, but Stark says that it's all part of the plan to get Jothee back and get the money. He says that D'Argo has breached security now so whilst they're resetting their codes he can link in, but he has to work quickly. Crichton asks how they'll get D'Argo back and Stark says that it's all part of the plan and it will work. Meanwhile, Zhaan and Chiana are plastering Rygel up to look like a statue. They knock him out with gas to suspend his bodily functions long enough so as not to be detected. Stark still hasn't gotten through and Crichton says he's got less than an arn left. Stark tells him to go away and do nothing – it's what D'Argo says he does best. Crichton puts his pulse pistol to Stark's head and asks if D'Argo really said that. When Stark says no Crichton tells him to never lie to him.

Zhaan and Chiana go into the depository; Zhaan dressed as a pirate and Chiana as her assistant. She tells Akkor to get his leader and the blue woman appears and says she's Natira. Zhaan says she is Aralla and she hears that they've been having security problems – her Luxan agent got halfway into a vault without them noticing. Natira says he barely made it through the door and asks how he got their codes. Zhaan says it's not her job to plug her security holes; she just needs storage for one solar day. The Rygel "statue" passes the scans. Zhaan says it's priceless and that she wants her Luxan. Natira gives him back and Zhaan sends Chiana to take him back to the ship. Natira tells Zhaan that her assistants (Crichton and Aeryn) must go to the Observation Lounge; that's her rules. She shows Zhaan the containment, which shoots out from the back of the room. Crichton and Aeryn enter the lounge, when Natira's people whisper then suddenly leave. Crichton starts to hear Scorpius talking in his head, when Aeryn spots the real Scorpius on a monitor, who says he has come for his property and wants to speak with Natira straight away and Lt. Braca nails Akkor so he can. A female nurse then changes his "cooling rod", which Crichton and Aeryn see. They realize that Scorpius's Scarran biology must mean he needs the suit to keep his body from overheating.

Zhaan manages to leave Natira just before Scorpius gets to her and they hug! Zhaan, Crichton, and Aeryn return to Moya, as Scorpius tells Natira why he's here. She thought he died when the Gammak Base exploded so she seized his goods. She says she will provide him with goods of equal value, but he says no – he wants triple the value to which she eventually agrees.

Back on Moya, Crichton has another go at Stark for keeping it secret from them that Scorpius was holding something at the bank despite Stark protesting he didn't know Scorpius would actually turn up. Crichton guesses that it's Scorpius's vault they're going to be stealing from and accuses Stark of wanting revenge. Stark refutes the claim, saying he's here for D'Argo's son and his people; using Scorpius' wealth to free them is just a bonus. Aeryn asks Pilot if Scorpius' command carrier was here and Pilot says they did detect a small ship earlier which Aeryn assumes is a Marauder on a stealth trajectory. Stark's modified their comms and has a passkey to control all the Depository's doors. Crichton wants more and gets Zhaan to concoct some paste that explodes when heated.

Natira says she has some Borinium Ingots for him, which are worth at least triple the value of his goods. Meanwhile, Crichton goes to see D'Argo and they start to argue. Chiana then has a go at Crichton, who says he didn't come here to fight; just to see how D'Argo was. Rygel has gotten free inside the container, when Zhaan and Chiana come with Crichton and Aeryn to make the withdrawal. Rygel is switching the container when Crichton sees Natira licking Scorpius on one of the screens, then they leave the room.

The container is retrieved and Rygel falls back inside. Crichton and Aeryn go to Natira's room where Crichton attempts to smear the explosive paste on Scorpius' cooling rod. The neural clone in Crichton's head starts telling him to stop, causing John to fumble so Aeryn has to do it for him. The PK Nurse comes and takes the rod, forcing Crichton and Aeryn to hide, and changes it for Scorpius. Natira says the Ingots have been transferred to his container, just as Zhaan and Chiana are retrieving the stolen goods. Scorpius retrieves his container and realizes there's nothing there but boxes and a statue's casing. Natira says it's the Delvian woman and when she mentions that she was travelling with a Nebari, Luxan and Sebaceans Scorpius realises it is Crichton. They seal all exits and Stark's door opening device doesn't work. He manages to jam the video signal and turns the device on for Crichton. Aeryn says to get Zhaan, Rygel, and Chiana out and she and Crichton will act as a diversion. Crichton starts to hear Scorpius again and grabs Aeryn, kissing her and trying to tell her that Scorpius did something to him. He wants to tell her how he feels about her, but the guards interrupt. Aeryn and Crichton manage to knock them out.

Scorpius' rod starts to fail and he tells Natira that if he gets Crichton all is forgiven. Zhaan, Rygel, and Chiana get to the last door, but Stark has started to break up at the thought of the plan failing. D'Argo takes over and Crichton again tries to tell Aeryn how he feels, but Aeryn says he doesn't as if she knows. Scorpius is on his way to intercept them, when Zhaan has to use her gas to knock out the oncoming guards. D'Argo gets into their system and opens the door. Scorpius' assistant sees him in pain and wants to change his rod, but he doesn't let her. They all go to leave when Crichton goes to seal all the doors. As he does, Braca and a guard find him and Crichton knocks him out. Scorpius grabs him and pushes open the "sealed" door. He tells Crichton that he put a chip in his brain, a neuro biotracer chip, that's been touching every aspect of his personality and memories. He says he's learned it's saved his life a few times since he escaped the Gammak Base.

Scorpius' rod starts to burn, when his nurse takes it out for him, but it explodes, knocking her out. He says Crichton can't let him die any more than he can sacrifice Crichton. Scorpius gets him to change the rod for him, but Crichton manages to fight it and throws the rod away, saying he'd rather die himself. He crawls away, leaving Scorpius writhing in pain, trying to reach the new rod.

Back on Moya, Rygel's talking about their newfound wealth when Zhaan reminds him they agreed to do nothing with it until they bought the slaves. Stark apologizes for his behaviour, but Zhaan says he did brilliantly and D'Argo says he's eternally grateful. Stark's proven himself a worthy friend. Chiana say that was nice and D'Argo says that that tortured soul just gave him a chance to save his son, to which Chiana asks what of the other tortured soul. D'Argo says friends help each other, and Chiana says that friends also forgive.

Crichton tells Aeryn about Scorpius' chip and says it was hard to let him die – a part of him wishes that he'd saved him. He says he meant what he didn't get to say to her, and she holds him, saying she knows. Meanwhile, the Ingots in the cargo bay suddenly come to life...

To Be Continued...

Memorable quotes[]

John: Aeryn, listen, if Scorpius gets me-
Aeryn: I know, shoot you.
John: No! No, no, shoot him!
John: You ever heard of KFC?
Akkor: Kayeffsee?
John: It is to my knowledge, unique in the Universe and unique is always valuable. Now, we have managed to procure all eleven secret ingredients...
Scorpius: You cannot let me die, anymore than I can sacrifice you.
John: That's what you're telling me in my head, but I think I'll give it a shot.

Background information[]

  • The trilogy title comes from the Warren Zevon song "Lawyers, Guns and Money". ("Cool Farscape Facts" - Starburst Edition DVD v2.3)
  • The subtitle for this episode comes from the novel and Sam Raimi's film A Simple Plan which like this episode featured a plan that was not simple at all. ("Cool Farscape Facts" - Starburst Edition DVD v2.3)
  • Paul Goddard used Jack Nicholson's performance in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and Brad Pitt's in 12 Monkeys as inspiration. ("Cool Farscape Facts" - Starburst Edition DVD v2.3)
  • Around fifteen takes were needed for the John/Scorpius scene involving the singing of "The Star Spangled Banner", which hadn't even been scripted. ("Cool Farscape Facts" - Starburst Edition DVD v2.3)
  • Anthony Winley arranged a budget increase with the Jim Henson Company for the episodes. ("Cool Farscape Facts" - Starburst Edition DVD v2.3)
  • David Kemper remembered, "We knew where we were going at the beginning of the year. Grant McAloon started working on it as soon as he finished episode 12. We knew the first and the third ones were going to be the bank raid. The first one was based on Mission: Impossible, the second The Dirty Dozen/The Seven Samurai. The third was The Guns of Navarone. Those were our templates. At the beginning of the year I said we were going to rob a bank and blow it up. All year long, no-one knew more than that. It was just one of those special times when you were really happy to be working on a TV show. I just love that when it comes together. I'll work a whole year for two or three days when the magic is there. We had magic for a month. People were screaming. There was a panic. We had hundreds of extras. We had to hire a make-up team. We had Virginia Hey in black leather with a patch over her eye. We knew it would be hard to screw this up and that makes it all worthwhile. We were all exhausted and very dead. We were all running on fumes at the end but nobody complained!" ("Farscape Chronicles" - Starburst Edition DVD v2.3)

Links and references[]


Guest stars[]

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Aralla; arn; Attila the Hun; Baywatch; Bonnie and Clyde; Borinium ingot; Command; command carrier; comms; cooling rod; Dangerous Minds; Discovery Channel; docking web; Dominar; DRD; dren; Farscape Project; frell; Gammak Base; Goddess of the Delvian Seek; hubcap; Hynerian; jelifan fire paste; Karack metallite; Johnson, Luanne; Ka Jothee; KFC; Luxan; maddium steel; marauder; melar gas; metevec explosion; microt; Moya; National Enquirer; Neltoth era; neuro biotracer chip; Peacekeeper; prowler; pulse pistol; Riddler; sakmar; scarag; Scarran; Shadow Depository; solar day; Taladine tea; telephone; The Star-Spangled Banner; transport pod

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